IN THIS PODCAST
SUMMARY
- Rules of engagement
- Calls and texts
- Activities
RULES OF ENGAGEMENT
When exes are trying to communicate and it’s not going well, they haven’t really created any rules of engagement or a system that will work for both of them. This leaves both parties feeling dissatisfied and unhappy.
There are things you can do when you are interacting with your ex, to ensure that is as productive as possible and takes the least amount of energy as possible.
CALLS AND TEXTS
“Generally what I’ve seen is that random texts back and forth throughout the day are disruptive for everybody. It works much better when there’s a plan for how often you’re going to text and when you’re going to text. If you’re even texting at all.”
Come up with rules of engagements for how you will communicate with your ex.
- Would you like to have a check-in call with your ex once a day/week/month?
- Will you only reserve texts and calls for emergencies?
- Do you maybe want to have a shared Google doc to input information and give updates?
- Will you look into using a shared calendar or a financial app?
ACTIVITIES
“Resentment is automatically what will happen when expectations are not really clear and agreements are not made.”
- What activities will you attend together?
- Which occasions will you see each other at?
- Will you speak to each other when you bump into each other?
- What will you do for the kid’s birthdays?
Be pro-active when it comes to communication, boundaries, and expectations. However, it takes 2 people to come up with a collaborative way to communicate post-divorce.
