IN THIS PODCAST
SUMMARY
- We tend to automate our partners
- Dangers of automating
- There are some benefits of shortcuts
WE TEND TO AUTOMATE OUR PARTNERS
As well as becoming so used to our partners, we begin to work with stereotypes to conserve energy in our brains. It does become a problem when we automate people in our lives because we make so many errors and even though stereotypes exist, they are harmful when we act on them constantly.
DANGERS OF AUTOMATING
We tend to become arrogant and blindsided in our perceptions of people and therefore we no longer see them as who they are, but who we think they are. We make assumptions and then lose the opportunity for course correction.
Automating your partner also closes you off from seeing how they change and progress as people, you close the opportunity for change by assuming you know how they act and who they are.
THERE ARE SOME BENEFITS OF SHORTCUTS
Couples can create football ‘playbooks’ that help them navigate their relationships by laying out agreements they have about how to deal with different scenarios. A playbook comes from constant discussions and laying out how things will work, so with your partner, it can be an important tool to help you hatch a plan when life gets tricky and impacts your relationship. These are signals and shortcuts that can aid you in your relationship.
