MEET KATHRYN ELY
Kathryn is a former attorney turned licensed counselor and a recovering perfectionist. Through her Imperfect Thriving Podcast, coaching, and courses, Kathryn helps women let go of perfection and their limiting beliefs, discover what they want the next part of their lives to look like and the daily imperfect action that will get them there.
IN THIS PODCAST
- Focus on what you value
- 3 Types of perfectionism to be wary of
- Releasing perfectionism allows you to be in the present
FOCUS ON WHAT YOU VALUE
Clear away the fog and focus on what is important to you, what you value. Think to yourself through difficult times ‘who do you want to be, or what behavior do you want to model for your children. What do you want them to know about you, and what do you want to be able to say about yourself when you get to the other side?
Remembering these ideas and values can guide you in your decision-making to make the choices with integrity. Through divorce, many people focus on what they do not want. When you tackle this process, think about what you really want instead, and work with this positive core.
“Get down to the core of what you want your new life to look like, then reverse-engineer it. Look at the result first and then come back and say ‘what do I value, I’m gonna set some goals in line with those values and then I’m gonna figure out the actions that I need to take daily to get there. (Kathryn Ely)
3 TYPES OF PERFECTIONISM TO BE WARY OF
- Self-oriented: You judge yourself against unrealistic expectations and living totally in your head.
- Other-oriented by being overly critical of others: You try to control other people and are often disappointed.
- Feeling that others expect you to be perfect: You feel that everyone is constantly judging you to an unrealistic standard.
RELEASING PERFECTIONISM ALLOWS YOU TO BE IN THE PRESENT
When people suffer from perfectionism, they never quite reach their goals, or even if they do, they immediately jump to the next one because they can never be satisfied. By releasing the addiction to perfectionism, you allow yourself to breathe and experience the present moment instead of constantly pushing toward an unattainable future.
Perfectionists miss out on the imperfect, human moments in their day. Perfectionists can never be or feel ready because they could always do more. This perfectionism process leads to procrastination because many perfectionists will only stop, or start, once everything is ready but nothing is ever quite ready. Kathryn recommends recovering perfectionists to begin their projects when they are 80% ready because that is a reachable goal.