MEET ROB KRAMER
Since 1998, Rob Kramer has provided executive coaching, consulting, and business training for a variety of sectors, specializing in public and academic leadership and team development. Rob is the author of Stealth Coaching (2nd edition, 2020), and Management and Leadership Skills for Medical Faculty and Healthcare Executives (2nd edition, 2020). He has provided a leadership column for Advance healthcare magazine and is a regular contributor of leadership articles for The Chronicle of Higher Education.
Rob is an Institute of Coaching Fellow at McLean Hospital, Harvard Medical School affiliate. He is a Professional Certified Coach (PCC) from the International Coach Federation (ICF), a CCL certified coach, and an active member of ICF, the Association of Leadership Educators, and the Organizational Development Network.
IN THIS PODCAST
- Mindfulness tools
- Self-care and self-compassion
- Being curious
Mindful does not equate to mediating. In this sense, being mindful is about being aware of how you are showing up, what you are carrying with you emotionally, and being aware of how the different aspects of your life are at play with one another.
Being mindless is when you bring all your stress from home into the office and argue needlessly with a co-worker. Being mindful means that you recognize you are stressed from home, and you will have awareness of your emotions, taking stock of how you feel throughout the day so that you do not offload onto an unsuspecting person.
I’m a big advocate of mindfulness in action, or active mindfulness, which means [being] attentive while you are washing the dishes … you can be mindful at any point. (Rob Kramer)
1 – Practice active mindfulness. Meditation is one facet of being mindful, but if it is not for you then there are plenty of other strategies you can try.
One of which is practicing active mindfulness, which means to simply be fully aware and present within the moment to what you are doing when you do it.
2 – Practice something that makes you feel good: cultivate a practice that benefits you, and this can be anything, from:
- Talking walks
I would highly encourage anyone going through this, or even thinking about going through this process of divorce, is to be very active in finding things that help with your stress management and your well-being. (Rob Kramer)
SELF-CARE AND SELF-COMPASSION
Practicing mindfulness and finding a routine that benefits your well-being is an integral part of moving through and recovering from the divorce process.
Self-care is one aspect. What is also as important is cultivating and having self-compassion.
Specifically self-compassion is maybe the core key beyond all of this. You gotta forgive yourself and be nice to yourself, much like you would be nice and attentive to a friend, can you be just as nice and attentive to yourself, because your self needs it? (Rob Kramer)
The more you can practice caring for yourself and having compassion, the more wisely you can walk through the divorce process, without harming yourself or others due to mindlessness and untethered frustration.
During this transition, be curious about yourself. Ask yourself:
- What is showing up?
- How am I reacting?
- Why am I reacting that way?
This ongoing curiosity will help you to make shifts, recognize when you need to practice some self-care when to take some time off from work, and so forth.
Being curious about yourself and gently questioning your reactions, wanting to learn, ties in with having and practicing self-compassion.
BOOKS MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE
Rob Kramer – Stealth Coaching: Everyday Conversations for Extraordinary Results
Rob Kramer – Management and Leadership Skills for Medical Faculty and Healthcare Executives